Getting the opportunity to do what you love, to live a dream, can feel a bit like flying. At times you bask in that feeling of soaring, of being fully in your skin, fully and wholly who you were meant to be. At other times you feel the terror of the unknown or the judgement of looking back at what you’ve done so far – “Oh I should have lifted that wing a bit further. What if they are disappointed in my flight? I can do it better, I promise.” But what is the true takeaway from the experience is that feeling of soaring, right? That is what actually matters. Not what others thought of your flight, not what you thought of the flight, but how you felt in the midst of it, in the knowledge that you were exactly where you were meant to be. As much of the perfectionist shell that I have already shed, there are still little roots/weeds of wanting to get things “right” that pop up from time to time. Luckily, I know the truth. Time after time it has been proven to me that imperfection is the open door to possibility. Imperfection has gotten me jobs. Imperfection makes us relatable and human. Imperfection is a beautiful gift, so let’s just embrace it.
Last summer I had the privilege of acting in “It’s a Fine Day,” a one act by Mayumi Lane as part of the HB Studios event The Central Park Plays. Jes Bedwinek and I played sisters laying our mother to rest in Central Park. It was such a pleasure to work with director Celine Rosenthal. Celine and Jes were at the same MA program together (for directing and acting respectively) and I so appreciated the relationship they have built – the shorthand and respect that comes from working together multiple times over a number of years. I’ve always believed in the strength of the company system. Of course it can work both ways, but the benefits I see are that your relationship off-stage enriches and deepens your relationships on-stage. You are able to communicate quickly and effectively. You know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and are in a position to call one another out in love. And that is probably the biggest benefit – love. When you truly appreciate and have a real relationship with those you work with, the love comes through the work and is seen and experienced by the audience and everyone around you.
As a new chapter in my life is about to begin, I take with me the knowledge and joy that one fine day Paul and I will be standing in a theatre that we have built with the people we love, and that we will have a chance to see that love grow and develop relationships with artists and audiences alike. Love is a powerful force and meant to be shared!